Viva Murillo!

Is your fantasy team in free-fall? Are the leading indicators suggesting a bearish outlook for the playoffs? Are you in need of an instant fusion of support, or else you're looking at losing hundreds of dollars in lost entry fees?

I was going to jokingly suggest that you petition the government for some money... but that might not be a joke. You can actually download a form and request funds. Why not something for your Pottsdam Fightin' Monkeys franchise? If the Big Three automakers can get $50 billion (and they will; wait and see) you should get a few bucks to cover waiver wire transactions, right?

Well, forget it. There's no such thing as a bailout in fantasy football. Nothing we do is imperative to national security or the economy, and nobody is in danger of losing their job. Even if you miss the playoffs, your head coach will be on board next year. Your team could go winless and nobody would get fired. You're not going to let yourself go, are you?

Nope. We're on our own. If you need a ton of help to get in the playoffs, all you can do is win your game and hope for the best. But even if "the best" isn't on your team, there are a few things you can do:

• Change your kicker and defense. I know: They're not important. They're all the same. You can't predict their performances. Blah blah blah. If you can get a handful of extra points this week, it could mean the difference between victory and defeat. You don't need a steady and reliable kicker. You need a guy on the right side of a 15-14 victory. You need a defense that scores twice and registers six sacks. Maybe you'll find one on the waiver wire. Pay attention to positions that aren't normally worth your time, even though time is running out.
• Grab a backup. Maybe your opponent has Marion Barber or Ryan Grant. Or maybe Tashard Choice and Brandon Jackson are better options than you have right now. They might not even play, but you need a Hail Mary, right? A backup might act like a starter this weekend.
• Start streaky players. Houston's Kevin Walter isn't an every-week starter, but every so often he comes up with a big game. I say put him in and hope for that big game. Baltimore's Mark Clayton had his big game last week, but that's the kind of performance you want -- something out of the blue that might be on your waiver wire or your bench. Any streaky player should be considered; this might be their week to shine. If you go back and forth on Lee Evans...start him. Maybe J.P. Losman is behind center and slings it his way. Just take some chances you might be hesitant to take and hope it works out. You have nothing to lose but a loss, and you're a long-shot anyway. Have fun with it.
• Play spoiler even if you're out of it. The best way to bail out a tough year is to drag a buddy down with you. If you can't make the playoffs, maybe you can keep someone else out of it as well. Win your game and your friend is a huge loser: That's almost as fun as making the playoffs yourself. They're expecting you to be disinterested and let them slide into the playoffs. End your season on a high note by showing them up and trash-talking them all off-season instead.

If you only have one game left... win it. If you need help to make the playoffs, put yourself in a position to get that help. If your opponent needs a victory, hand them a loss instead. There is no federal bailout coming for your franchise. The government isn't going to help you out on Sunday. Take action and give yourself something to cheer about in week 14. Play tyour best game, even if it's your last game. Good luck this week.

Youtube Clip of the Week: If I didn't motivate you sufficiently, maybe this will:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zwMtvCMLio&feature=related

You can reach Michael Murillo at vivamurillo@gmail.com.

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